Safety Net

I don't know if anyone reading this has ever had someone in their life that made you feel like no matter what you did, what you needed or how much you needed, they were there for you.  I did.   You see growing up my Dad made us work hard, very hard which built my self esteem, confidence and good work ethic and values. I didn't realize it until he died that he was my safety net...... my only safety net. So that day and the weeks that followed his death I fell HARD.... VERY HARD. I shut people out, I shut my thoughts down, I shut my actions down. Which led me to a very broken, isolated, depressed, unhealthy physically, emotionally and spiritually person.  Then I got fed up with myself, but I didn't know how to change? How do you change especially when you believe you have nobody that cares or no safety net?  Are you the type of person like I was.... "I don't need other people to help me, I can help them but I don't need help." " I don't want to be that nagging, needy person that irritates everyone" ( you know the type). "I have my life together, if I ask for help it will show my faults, my flaws, oh and even worse..... my weakness"  Yep that was me! Don't get me wrong I didn't think I was perfect but I wanted to make other people think I was. So I needed to get real with myself.  First things first, I was FAT and I was unhappy (I will talk about the unhappy part in another post :) I hate that word fat, but really that's what it is.... FAT.  Next thing I had to realize is, "I can't do it alone" and you know what? YOU don't have to do it alone! It was like someone put a manual in front of me and said guess what Jen.... in this life;  don't trust anyone, everyone is bad, you have to be able to fend for yourself and just get through life and it doesn't have to even be enjoyable! I bought that crap for wayyyyy to long.  I have sought out and enlisted so many people to help me because that is what I need. And that's what you need, and it's okay! We do NOT have to go through this life alone. Because you know that safety net... take a good look at one sometime, it's not made up of one thread. It's not like a solid sheet underneath a tight rope ready to catch it's tight roper.  NO! it's MANY threads woven together to form bigger threads and those threads are woven together to make it even bigger  stronger threads and so on. And it's flexible it supports and bounces and rebounds. I'm telling you people,  if you have a sheet made of one thread underneath you it's not a safety net, it will not support you. You need many threads, many people in your life to support you, that will help you rebound and will help you bounce when you need it. This year, that has been my greatest gift... I have MANY people around me that love, encourage, support me in HEALTHY way. In the beginning of this journey I was told to reach out and see what happens. I reached out and it was so worth it! Be true to yourself and ask yourself who makes up your safety net? Because you so don't have to do it alone.