Is it all about competition?

Alright I am going to use this blog to vent....... I am all about being competitive, I'm competitive in bootcamp, I'm competitive in my job, and I am competitive in a few other areas. What I am NOT competitive in....... major life events!

I have hemmed and hawed about how much to write about this...... my daughter has to have a pretty significant surgery, very soon.  I am concerned, worried and yes scared.  Nobody wants to go through moments like this....... especially when it's your child.  I have been working really hard on how I react to what is going on; controlling my thoughts, my emotions and actions. So when I have recently started talking about how I feel, I have been met with some.... and I will say.... some people that seem to think they have to express; "it could be worse", "everybody goes through difficult times",  "look around, there are many people that go through the same difficult things", "I've been through worse".  Is that REALLY what I want to hear?   ....... No, not really. Don't you think I already know that? Don't you think I have thought about how lucky I am to first of all have children... healthy children that are able to participate in activities. Don't you think I understand people go through so much WORSE?

I learned that lesson quickly when my dad was killed in a car accident...... The most difficult time in my life when  I held his hand for the last time...... when there was no longer a breath in his body.  I was told by many people "at least you didn't have to see him suffer from disease, at least it was fast, at least you had him as long as you did"  

I don't believe suffering and trials in life are a competition of who has it worse?

There are people that understand.  There are people that have experienced really difficult times that understand it's okay to share their experience and have compassion towards what you are going through. Words like "I'll pray for you and your daughter" "what can I do to help" "I know how difficult this is for YOU and I know you can get through this"
Because that's really what it's about..... what YOU have to endure, what YOU are facing at that specific time. Like that saying "God does not give you more than you can handle" because He knows exactly how much growth you need in your life at that specific moment. Some people have had to endure more than others and there will ALWAYS be those people that have endured so MUCH MORE. But it does not make YOURS any LESS.
So if your going through something difficult in your life right now..... loss, divorce, strained marriage, pain from an injury, pain from a loved one, suffering what ever it is..... I'm sorry you have to go through it.  I'm sorry that life has to be that much more difficult for YOU right now.  I know specific people that are going through each of those life stressors right now, I feel your pain and your sadness and I am so sorry.  It's not a competition, it's not about who has it better or worse, it's not about being selfish....... it's about compassion, it's about loving one another, so let me say to you........ I love you.

Jen

Now What?

Good question.... Start right back up again! I had a cheat weekend with Chocolate cake... Thank you Mom! And a few other indulgenses I have totally missed. But now it's time to get my new goals. (And let me just add that I was so sick after eating those things I will NEVER, NEVER do that again!)

My new goal is 10 - 15 more pounds. It feels good to have the pressure off, I have met my personal goal now I am going for my dreams... to take my body to whole new level, one I had KNOW IDEA could exhist and I am SUPER excited!!!

Tonight I was asked what I like best about my body?  To be honest the BEST thing is the change in my mindset.  Without that........ my weight loss would not be long lived.  You would see me in a year with my weight back on and even more.  It makes me think about all the other weight loss programs I have attempted in the past and really that was what was missing. I am most grateful for the change in my mindset. ( and having stronger better looking legs and increased energy isn't so bad either!)

What does Jenny Flynn want for herself? I want to be involved, I want to get people involved and motivated to make a change if not in their health then in their life. I see SO MANY unhappy people. I believe people keep focusing on finding the right life, or right person to share it with......when really what you need to do is focus on BECOMING the right person and having the right life.....  It's right in front of you..... you just need to know how to change. Change your mindset, stop making excuses, change how YOU react to your situation and then practice it. It's not going to happen overnight, you will for sure need to invest your time and maybe even invest in someone to teach you. Change will happen, and you will be a better person for it.
For me, Mindset is always a work in progress, sometimes I get a total F for the day and other days I would say an A+.  It's about making those F days less frequent.
My goals for this next year is to start a core group through our church at River Valley about health and nutrition. I would love to continue teaching the 28 day program through Altman Fitness. I would love to take nutrition courses and possibly strength and conditioning courses. And I am working towards a project that will hopefully put me on a platform to encourage many!!!!

NOW this next part is for YOU, yes YOU! ..... you that are reading this thinking; " yeh right, I don't have the time, I don't have the money, I just don't know how I could possibly fit in __________ (insert your deep desires)" YOU have a destiny to fulfill.......you were not put here on earth to simply exist......... YOU were created for MORE!! Look back at your life I mean REALLY look. Were there disappointments that you can look back on and realize it really was for the best?  I know I can; Gene and I wanted to move to a bigger home that would have tipped our budget. We were 2nd offer and we didn't get the house, I was REALLY disappointed at the time.  But I look back now and think "thank goodness!" If we had gotten that house I would not be in the position I am now, we would be over worked and over extended on our budget and I would still be that miserable unhappy wife.

Life is about seeing the big picture, realize the small opportunities and small victories in our life and allow them to build our confidence.  Small victories build faith and character, it allows us to go after those bigger opportunities and celebrate those huge victories with humility.
Start your day with the excitement and feeling like you can conquer anything...... and when you feel yourself slipping come back and read this post, and BELIEVE you can achieve what you set your mind to. Jenny Flynn believe's in YOU!


Jen

Did I make it?

Ohhhhh YES I DID!!!! 

When I started back in January of 2011 I was at 246 pounds, I was a size 22/24......... I am now 154 pounds and a size 10!  It feels so crazy to write those numbers! When I began I did not think 90 pounds was an attainable goal for me. And now 16 months, 17 days 6 hours and 32 min later and 92lbs lighter...... I made it!  

Why did it work this time? Because it was the right time, it's that simple!  Things happen in life for a reason....  I believe our Creator has an amazing love for me...... for ALL of us and made THIS time the right time, for me!
How did it work? The right program, the right people in my life, the drive and desire from me to make it happen and a whole lotta sweat and tears. Without that..... It would NOT have happened.

My sweet husband!

I am so grateful to my amazing and supportive husband Gene without you and your continuous support  I would not have pushed day in and day out. My kids..... thanks for keeping me honest, I LOVE YOU! My Mom, thank you for all that you do, without you this would not be possible and yes.......Dad would have been proud, my only sadness today is that he is not here to share it with me, miss you dad! My brother and sister and families THANK YOU for all the encouragement and support and Blaine your little sista' will be able to match ANYTHING you put before me!!!


My trainer..... hmmm this is hard!  Jay Altman you are the greatest, the smartest, the thoughest trainer I know and I am sooo GRATEFUL. Thank you for sticking this out with me when you could have said no, when you could have given up..... You did not give up, you did not back down, you did not ever expect less from me and WOW just WOW look how far you have taken me! Your program works, you are true to your word and you have changed my life forever.... Thank you just does not seem like enough.  Kelly Altman...... you have been that female support when I felt like certain persons.....heh hmmmm,  yo huzzzband... just did not understand. You have encouraged me and pushed me to be a better mom, wife, friend and overall person in life. And your KILLER workouts.... BRING RESULTS. You and Jay make an unbeatable team, both in your personal and professional life. I thank you for all you have done for me, the extra time, extra attention and words of wisdom, for encouraging me to never give up! I Love you both and you will always be like family! And I LOVE your mama too.... I see where you get it from!
Amy Bounds.... girllllll..... look what you started! I am grateful beyond words for your gentle nudge to make a change. For always pushing me to get to bootcamp even on the days I didn't think I could move. You are a true friend and you know how special you are to me, I love ya!
All my boot camp friends: Sara, Barb, Joan, Ryan, Carrie, Lori, Amy, Anne, Mo, Brooks, Jackie---- my core group who has been with me pushed me and motivated me day in and day out these WHOLE 16 months!!! I LOVE YOU!
Additional boot camp friends John, Deb D. , Stacey D., Kari A. , Stacey S. , Maddie, Tammy, Courtney, Amanda, Allison, Margie, Kristie S. Kaki, DiAnna, Kay Ann  and I know I am missing some!.... Thank you for always supporting me, pushing me to work harder and allowing me to inspire you! You guys are awesome!
Friends: Amanda C., Stacey S., Sharon and Jackie who text and email me at just the right times, Thank you!
My previous trainers: Ryan and Chris... Miss you, thank you for believing in me!
My current trainers: Christian and Alyssa.... You guys ROCK and I love your dedication and positive attitudes day in and day out! You are awesome!
My friends..... Old and NEW and facebook friends who have encouraged me, motivated me, "liked" my status THANK YOU!!!

YOU CAN DO IT!

My Orthopedist: Scott Anseth, with TCO,  THANK YOU for taking the right steps in doing the right thing to fix my knee, and for understanding what is important to me and that it matters that I can continue on my journey!

And lastly..... a shout out to Jackie J. YOU CAN DO IT! She is going for 90lbs and I 100% believe she can! And for those of you reading this that want to make a change that are scared to get started, that don't believe you can do it.... YOU CAN! It just takes a step and then a jump and then a leap. After that it's all  just a nice smooth cadence you can handle..... I promise!

I have waited for this day a long time, this day where I can finally say:

YES... I DID IT!!!! I ACCOMPLISHED MY PERSONAL GOAL OF 90LBS WHA....HOOOO!!!!!!

Have an amazing day, put your dreams in motion and believe you can do it.

Jen

86,400

What if you had $86,000 dollars deposited in your bank account every day? That would be pretty sweet right? And what if you HAD to spend it every day? Because at 12:00 midnight your account would be at  $0.00 and at 12:01 you would again have your deposit of $86,000. This means you couldn't roll over any money from the previous day and you couldn't borrow from the next. I don't know about you but I would use EVERY penny, I mean why not spend it all it's going to be taken away if I don't  right?
Would you believe me if I said we ALL have access to 86,400 but it's in the form of seconds in a day. I don't get any more than you do. And you don't get anymore than me. But how you and I choose to spend those seconds, I would guess would be VERY different. I believe that because if I were to look at my life 12+ months ago is EXTREMELY different than how I spend my time now. I have always been good at being efficient and organized. But when it came to quality I realize I was lacking. Lacking because I spent those precious seconds making excuses as to why I didn't have the time to do all the things I wished I could do! Funny how that is isn't it? Kind of like that business meeting about when you should have the next meeting!
I now spend EVERY second of my day doing exactly what Jenny Flynn wants and needs to spend her time on. It's such an AMAZING feeling. When you finally take control of your life and stop letting other people, other influences control you...... you will feel AMAZING!

How are you going to spend your time? Are you going to use all 86,000 of your day or are you going to keep exhausting your self by trying to borrow from the next day. Or are you going to save part of your 86,000 thinking you may need it "someday"

Here is a really good article written by my coach and mentor Jay Altman. Check it out, you may find it as useful as I did!    3 proven tips to make more time

Have an amazing rest of your day, and thanks for taking 90 seconds out of your day to read my blog :)
Jen

Incompetent?

I hate feeling incompetent. But worse I think I hate being viewed as incompetent. I don't mind so much being considered ignorant ( that is, not knowing what I haven't been taught) but incompetent......you might as tell tell me I'm straight up stupid!
Learning has never been easy for me. In middle school and high school I got through it, I was a C student who didn't really care at the time because I had my friends and had my sports. Enter College and Physical Therapy school...... Seriously still don't know how I passed kinesiology, anatomy and physiology and my most dreaded...... psychology. I think I confused my psychology professor so much that he decided to pass me so he wouldn't have me in class again!  That's not to say I am not a good Physical Therapist Assistant. I believe I am, but it took many years of learning from really good therapists to actually get to that point. Same with photography, it took me 3 years of learning from some of the best photographers in the business and still I'm trying to perfect my craft. So why can't I figure out how to eat and exercise right for me?????
I mean really it's been over a year of dedicating my time, money and energy into 2 things..... 1. Food and 2. Exercise.  I should be a pro right? Enter in feeling like I am incompetent! I would have said 6 or 7 months ago it was ignorence. Not any longer... I  have been living, breathing, speaking what I have learned and I am STILL not at my goal. What is it? Why do people fail to achieve? Why do people have this strong desire to start something only to fall off and never complete it?

"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we hit it" M. Buonarroti

When I made the decision to "mend" mind, body and spirit  it started out great. Okay not great.. I do recall being in so much pain that I did not want to get up and down off the toilet more than necessary. But I was so  excited about the future possibilities.
And then things started to unravel..... my goal was taking longer than I thought it would. I started to get discouraged. And because I didn't really stop and look at what I had achieved, I lost drive and focus. Pretty soon that end goal and all it's promise and possibilities seemed unreachable, unattainable.

Until recently when something happened and it hurt.  It hurt my ego, it hurt a bit of my pride, it hurt physically and it took some of my trust.  What I learned was Jenny Flynn needs to take care of Jenny Flynn. Nobody but me is going to be there to catch me if I fall, or pick me up when I am down. I know this sounds way off base from some of my other posts but it is the reality of life. Sure we need to have friends to give us support and encourage each other, but ultimately it is YOU that needs to take care of YOU. You need to answer to yourself. Nobody is going to tell you day in and day out what choices to make.

You need to be strong and courageous on your own. Stand up for yourself, believe in yourself, believe in your strengths and have the courage to work on your weaknesses know matter how hard, know matter how painful physically or emotionally. Then and only then will you continue to have the ability and the will to carryout your strongest desires.

My aim has been too low..... I know I can BE better, DO better, and achieve MORE. Can you?
Do you have it in you? Do you have that desire to aim high? I mean REALLY HIGH?
I say go for it, you may surprise yourself at how much YOU really can do!

Jen

"For I know the plans I have for you," Declares the Lord "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  

Jeremiah 29:11