Who am I?

Who am I?  I often struggle with who I want to be and who I want others to see me as.  When really they should be the same person.  When I started this journey of mending I was told by both my counselor and trainer to "just tell yourself"  positive words and praise and encouragement.  But to me I felt like a big fake, after all I didn’t believe ANY of it.  I didn’t believe I could be strong,  or pretty,  or worthwhile.  I didn’t believe I could be thinner or healthier or better emotionally.  I didn’t believe I could have a better marriage, a better family life or experience more joy.  I didn’t believe it, because I didn’t tell myself to believe it. 

You hear people talk about mindset, or at least I did and I still do.  For a long time I didn’t like the word mindset, mostly because I didn’t understand it.  Before the phrase “change your mindset” came off as “new age” or strictly an inner indoctrination.  But now I realize that my foundation, which is my faith in God who created me, desires a life full of  hope, joy,  and love.  Which for SOME people needs to start with changing your mindset, or how you perceive yourself to be and how you perceive the world around you. 

An example might be: “I can never loose weight because I don’t have the time, I don’t have the money or the resources”  what you are really telling yourself is that You don’t value yourself enough to put your desire to loose weight first.  You don’t perceive yourself to be smart enough to develop a plan to get started and put that plan into action.  You don’t see your value or your worth to your family or people around you to allow yourself to be happy and be all that you were created to be. 

I know what that inner voice is like: “you can’t do that”  “you will never succeed at that” “that’s being selfish”  “you will never be that _________ (wife, mom, friend) that ________ (insert any name here) is.  And your right ….. You will NEVER be all that you can be with that mindset.  So why is it so hard to change that? Why is it so hard to give yourself GRACE?  Why is it so hard to give yourself love and compassion? 

I believe it has to do with perception….. Which is why I asked myself the question “who am I?” The first time that question was asked was March of 2012 and it was my trainer asking me to write down “who is Jenny Flynn?”  my answers were really sad.  Sad enough I don’t care to share… but I will share who Jenny Flynn is now! 

Jenny Flynn is:  a really good Mom, Jenny Flynn is an amazing wife (I double checked with my husband on that :) .   I am a friend who will listen, give advice and care deeply.  I am someone who will motivate and inspire anyone who desires a positive change.  Jenny Flynn is someone who is constantly growing in her faith, learning from her mistakes and being patient with her journey.  Jenny Flynn is fit, strong, beautiful and courageous.  And although I may not believe each and every one of these things 100%........ I’m okay with it because I know the more frequent I tell myself these things I will begin to really believe it! It’s not being fake…… it’s being real. 

I encourage you to ask yourself “who am I?” write it down, if you don’t like what you see start telling yourself what it is you WANT to see, and eventually that negativity will turn into positivity! 

have an amazing week all!

Jen