I know what kept me from my goals........ FEAR. Fear of what happens when I get there because then what? Or what about all the years I wanted, wished and attempted to lose weight. FEAR, plain and simple F E A R!
In the beginning I made every excuse there was; I'm too busy, my kids are little and I have nobody to watch them. It hurts my joints to much, I just might fall over and die I am so out of shape! Not enough time or money. You name it I said it, thought it and felt it. Looking at it from this side of things..... HOW CRAZY was I??? What I have gained or should I say lost in weight, gained in strength, gained in self esteem & I have a body that feels good. How do you put a value on that and why let FEAR get in the way?
I recently read a story about a girl who had an AMAZING wedding ring. It was handed down to her from her Grandfather to her Mother to her. You see her Grandfather owned a mine. One day they found a HUGE stone, her mother and grandfather patiently cut the stone together. The story goes that the grandfather made the mother promise NEVER to have the stone appraised. Can you imagine? I don't know about you but I'm the type that has to know the sex of the baby before it's born, what I'm getting for Christmas, I can't hold out for anything! Imagine possibly having a diamond valued at hundreds of thousands of dollars and not knowing it! ha, and not to mention how you would insure that! But the reason behind the Grandfathers promise was a lesson in Value verses Worth. You see the stone had been mined on his own land and carefully cut with his daughter, with their own hands. That is what gave it it's worth! The stone could have had no worldly value or it could have a value at 600,000 dollars, who knows??? I love that!! (well I take that back it would kind of drive me crazy not to know, but I love the whole lesson in it!)
I often found myself placing value on many things in my life, but now I look at it's worth. Replace FEAR with WORTH! Was it worth every painful step I took, was it worth every dollar spent, was it worth every tear I shed, was it worth the sacrifices I made? ..... You bet it was, you cannot let FEAR stand in your way and you CAN'T place value on what something is worth.
So I ask you, what is holding you back? What is it that keeps you from pushing hard toward your goal? Maybe it's a goal of a new career, having another child, starting a business, staying at home with your kids, weight loss, going back to school, buying a house, down sizing, the list is endless. Don't let fear stop you. It is such a waist of time. I recently had a taste of that fear once again in my life. I have not said much about it because I didn't want it to be a focus. But I am going to share it now. A week ago I went to jump at boot camp when I felt a pop and terrible pain in my knee. I new when it happened that I tore something. (I want to add that boot camp/exercise did not do this to my knee, my knee is worn out from years of softball, volleyball and being 246 pounds!) I had an MRI and I tore my medial meniscus and I have grade 3 out of 4 degenerative arthritis (this means I am looking at a total knee sometime in my future) To me at this time it felt like one of the worst things that could happen. I have hit hurdle after hurdle this last year, but this one is big, this one felt like it was going to keep me from reaching MY goal. That is when FEAR and DOUBT set in. I was trying hard to keep my chin up, kept going to boot camp. My trainer and friends were positive and motivating to keep going. But inside I wanted to quit. I mean I've made a 70 lb weight loss nobody would blame me for stopping at least for a while. But it began to take a toll on my spirit, all that negativity flooded back; it hurts too much, I can't do it, what is the point, I've failed myself. Do you ever get like that? Something happens in your life and you just want to pull the covers over your head and not come out? That was me, and it was so ridiculous, so much so that my husband came home Saturday and said "how's your pity party going?" I thought is it that evident? Really can you read it all over my face? What kind of mom or role model am I being to my kids if they see this is how I react after they have seen me work so hard this past year. It's silly isn't it? Your probably reading this saying "girl you gotta keep going, your on the home stretch" your right I am, I am 15-20 lbs away from my ideal body weight. Why would I stop now? I'm not! So... Pity party is over, fear will NOT rule over me and I will keep on keepin on! I encourage you to do the same. Take a step toward that goal whatever that may be, just take it!
1st Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
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