"I committed"

I would be lying if I didn't say this journey can be a REAL struggle. It's so strange how some weeks a person can feel so strong and confident in their goal and have the desire to reach it. Only to have the next week feel so completely..... defeated.
It's like I want something so badly I can see it so clearly and then other days it's really foggy. Those days that are foggy is when fear sets in. Fear of many things like commitment, fear of failure and fear of pain.
It's funny how some simple words out of the blue can strike a nerve. Today I heard the words "Dad, I committed" from my sweet 10 year olds lips. In our house if you don't like what was made for dinner your other option is to make something else yourself. My husband had previously taught our daughter how to heat up the skillet and make "grilled cheese". No there really is not a healthy way to make grilled cheese but for some reason using whole wheat bread and organic cheese makes it sound better :) She had tried previously to make it with dad, but just couldn't manage flipping the sandwich for fear of getting burned by the skillet. Oh I so remember those first few times I used a skillet or putting in and taking out the cookie sheet from a hot oven... ouch!  Well this night our daughter was determined to "make her own dinner" because she was not going to have fish!! Gene and I were sitting at the table when I hear "DAD.... I COMMITTED!" " I DID IT!" I was like what is she talking about and why is she jumping up and down so excited? I came to find out she "flipped it" and she did it in the smallest skillet possible which makes it even HARDER!  Last time Gene was teaching her he said to her "all you have to do is commit to it, just flip it and it will be fine"
I heard those words and the excitement in her voice and it actually made me feel like "wow.... my 10 year old gets it" She just learned a really valuable lesson that, believe it or not will help her later in life. In such a small way she learned if she wanted something bad enough all she has to do is "commit to it"
And oh how some simple words can be so powerful if you listen. I mean REALLY LISTEN to what's going on around you. My trainer often tells me "just go.... just do it, don't think about it!" but my head says "NO", you've been down that road before and it hurts..... it burns like that skillet. If I listen to my head.... where will I be in a year if I don't "commit" to it? I will tell you.......I will be EXACTLY where I am at right now in my journey: the same weight, the same mindset and the same outlook on life. Some people might say "what's wrong with where your at?" I would say I feel sad for myself, because that would mean I don't dare to dream bigger, I don't dare to look at a future full of promise or a life full of vitality and fulfillment.  That would mean I would settle for what I currently have...... and I personally desire so much MORE, a life that I can look back on and say "WOW..... that was a life worth LIVING"

Fear can be a powerful thing if you let it. I hope this post and my 10 year old inspires you like she inspires me........ to get burned a little bit and "COMMIT" to it! Here's to a new week of stepping out of my comfort zone and committing to it!!!

Jen