what's my problem?

Okay I am going to be pretty open, honest and real here
...... READER BEWARE!

I have this really distorted view when I look in the mirror. I don't necessarily see 246lb Jen, but I SEE 200lb+ Jen. Which makes me FEEL like 246 lb Jen and makes me THINK like 246lb Jen and then sometimes ACT like 246lb Jen.
I am at a point in my Journey where I feel really lost at times with who I am......... For those of you saying oh quit your complaining and be happy with how you look,  let me explain it this way:
For the past year I have changed:
PHYSICALLY that is the most obvious.  I don't look the same, I don't feel the same (not as tired, improved health, improved mood)
When I would go shopping I really only had one place to shop and they ultimately set my style. Now I can shop anywhere but I feel like I don't really know what to buy, what looks good on me, where to shop, and even what size is right?  I know what a problem to have right?
I've changed SPIRITUALLY: we left our church, a church we had attended for 5 years we LOVED our pastor and his family. We have since moved to a new church that has amazing qualities about it, but we are still trying to find where we "fit" with the church.
I have changed MENTALLY: I use to always have a "poor me" attitude, I had a lot of negative thoughts about life in general, towards others and towards myself.  At that time everyone in life was "bad", "trust know one but yourself" now I have been working hard at, not poor me but "lucky me" I am doing what 1,000's of people want to do.
I have changed my LIFESTYLE: I have changed my employment, leaving a company I was a part of for 16 years and really changing my roll and position, what I am working towards achieving in my life and career.
I have changed my friendships,  my family.......no just kidding about my family I did not get a new family! But I did find and keep my sense of humor! The people that I confide in, associate with, lean on  are completely different from 15 months ago. I make sure the people I associate with now on a regular basis have positive uplifting personalities, they have the same goals, vision and desire for life. And those that don't I am cautious how I let them into my life. Which is really hard and sad at times.

My circle of friends and support system...... AMAZING, my family support....... AMAZING. My coach......... AMAZING......  So why can't I embrace who I am?

..........Because I don't want to let go of who I was. Because there are pieces of  me that rely on certain pieces of the old Jen and I am struggling how to let them go?

whew..... feels better just to write it!!!

Having said all that.... I would not change a thing, I would not go back to who I was, I would not change my past but I am confident I WILL change my future. I WILL change how I view myself..... worthy of change, worthy of forgiveness, worthy of a life of abundance and vitality. Worthy of a life God has planned for me......