Broken pieces of John Brill

     When I met with John I didn't quite know what I was expecting. I mean I'm just a girl with this blog trying to reach out to others about my own struggles. And then I listened to a man tell his story. I studied his face, felt his pain and watched as he realized....... life can be better.   What a gift for me to be a part of John Brill's journey!  When I left I knew John felt excited and motivated to take action and take action immediately. Which is why I sent him a quick email with some simple steps to get him on a path of "Mending".

     I asked John to find something like a mug or coffee cup and go into the garage and smash it!  I then told him to pick up all the pieces, take them into the house, find a quiet spot with no distractions.  Pull out the hot glue gun and start putting it back together.  I asked him while he was putting it together to think about his life, his childhood, his high school years, his 20's and 30's, his marriage..... what he loved, what he misses. The birth of his children, the life he lives now. I knew if John could take the time to do this, he would be well on his way and he could write the end of this blog post in his own words. So here he is...... John Brill

     I smashed the first mug so hard that it broke the zip lock bag and little pieces went all over the garage. It felt good, I almost cried after I threw it. I got out a second mug and dropped it more gently. I got one resource, a hot glue gun and had no clue how to use it. You were right - parts were easy and parts were more difficult. Getting the base right is important and not as hard as I thought.  The tricky and ugliest part was the one side that I think was smashed the most...... another metaphor.

What do I miss in my life? 

• Laughing - I don't laugh nearly enough - is it because I'm getting older that I'm more serious? Or is it that I'm taking things too seriously? Definitely the latter.  
• Spontaneity - I allow everything to be so structured.  
• Competition- I don't have time to compete or I am not in physical condition to compete. This is more about competition with others than competition with myself. 

What do I love in my life? 

• My wife and my children. My relatives and In-Laws. 
• That I am able to have a job in a field I enjoy for a big-time company like Disney.  
• My community. A few specifics include Eden Prairie, walking the dog along the river, Pax Christi and the Altman's
• Sports and Politics as pastimes
• My faith, although I don't always live it as I should.

What is life going to look like from now on?

• Physical Health - specifically my relationships with food and my ability to be as active and mobile as I want to be. Continue to exercise, achieve a healthy weight and take care of my body as the temple of the soul.
• Emotional Health - focus on the triggers that make me lose my emotional balance. Then what happens when I'm off balance.  Take appropriate action when things are out of balance like counseling, meditation, medication etc...
• Spiritual Health - my relationship with God and my moral compass. Continue to practice my faith. 
• Be more present for others - deeper than "surface" discussions. Building relationships are most important. 

I have a good life, no a GREAT life! I just wasn't present for it. One of my goals is to be present physically, emotionally and spiritually.  God wants me to be the best version of myself.  Last week, that would have been a lot of pressure on me.  This week, however I'm turning the tables a little bit. 

     Jane said to me today " More than anything, I just want you to be at peace with yourself." I haven't been at peace with myself in a very long time, maybe since my kids were really little.  Even on vacation, I never completely wind down and enjoy the moment.  However, today I had a couple of hours where I felt at peace. Where my best was good enough.  Where I gave love and received love. 

     Good job John Brill.....I am proud of you and I thank you for sharing your story with me and everyone reading this blog. You are an incredible person, I am grateful to know you and excited to watch your journey!

John's "mended" mug